Terms of Use
Use of this
website is offered to you on your acceptance of these Terms of Use, our
Privacy Policy and other notices posted on this website. Your use of
this website or of any content presented in any and all areas of the
website indicates your acknowledgment and agreement to these Terms of
Use, our Privacy Policy and other notices posted on this website. If
you do not agree to be bound by and comply with all of the foregoing,
you may not access the website. Jestersdead.com has the right, at its
sole discretion, to modify, add or remove any terms or conditions of
these Terms of Use without notice or liability to you. Any changes to
these Terms of Use shall be effectively immediately following the
posting of such changes on this website.
This website is
for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide specific
commercial, financial, political, religious, investment, accounting,
tax, or legal advice. It is provided to you solely for your own
personal, non-commercial use. You may link to and refer to this website
freely. You must, when linking to this website, thrust your fist into
the air and yell "death to tyrants." This site is not responsible for
any deaths to tyrants or any other negative activity except for the
yelling which we do not condone except in this context.
This website
does not guarantee the accuracy of any information and users cannot sue
us for stupidly believing everything they read. Accordingly, we do not
guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, reliability or completeness of any
of the information contained on, downloaded or accessed from this
website.
The performance
of this website and all information contained on, downloaded or
accessed from this website are provided to you on an "as is" basis,
without warranties of any kind whatsoever, including any implied
warranties or warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular
purpose or non-infringement of the rights of third parties. If
something weird happens to your computer because you accessed this
website, you cannot blame us in any way. We will tolerate one nasty
note and nothing more. You are allowed other actions, legal or
otherwise, only if you stand in the middle of your local zoo naked and
scream the words: "I am not insane. I can hear these animals begging to
be released." You must do this for one hour or until your arrest.
We reserve the
right to modify, disable access to or discontinue, temporarily or
permanently, any part or all of this website or any information
contained thereon without liability or notice to you. We tell you this
for no particular reason since you cannot do much about it anyway.
As a visitor to
our website, you acknowledge and agree that any reliance on or use by
you of any information available on this website shall be entirely at
your own risk. In no event shall Jestersdead.com nor any of its data
providers, friends, allies or hangers-on be liable for any direct,
indirect, consequential or exemplary damages arising from the use or
the performance of this website. And don't let the door hit you
where the good Lord split you!
Privacy
Policy
We don't do
pop-ups and particularly don't give a rat's rear end about your
personal
information. In addition, we are not going to protect it. If you are a
jerk
online and slander someone and they want your IP address they can have
it. We are not here to protect you from lawsuits. This may change,
as noted above
Confidentiality
and
Transmissions
over
the
Internet
The transmission
of data or information (including communications by e-mail) over the
Internet or other publicly accessible networks is not secure, and is
subject to possible loss, interception, or alteration while in transit.
Accordingly, we do not assume any liability for any damage you may
experience or costs you may incur as a result of any transmissions over
the Internet or other publicly accessible networks, such as
transmissions involving the exchange of e-mail with us (including those
which may contain your personal information). We don't care. We make no
efforts to safeguard the privacy of the information you provide us,
period. All submissions to this website via email or otherwise becomes
our property to make life easier, on us. You accept this and live with
it. It's too much work otherwise. In no event will the information you
provide to us be deemed to be confidential, create any fiduciary
obligations to you on our part, or result in any liability to you on
our part in the event that such information is inadvertently released
by us or accessed by third parties without our consent.
User
Conduct
and
Obligations
You agree to
follow all applicable laws and regulations when using this website and
further agree that you will not transmit junk mail, chain letters, or
other unsolicited bulk e-mail or duplicative messages to any email
address listed on this site without agreeing to pay the owner of
Jester's Dead.com the sum of US $10,000 per item.
By uploading,
posting or otherwise transmitting through or to our website any
content, you grant to us, our successors and assigns, a non-exclusive,
world-wide, royalty free, perpetual, non-revocable licence to use or
distribute such content in any manner otherwise than as stated in our
Privacy Policy.
Indemification
by
User
You agree to
indemnify, defend and hold us and our friends, spouses, children, and
agents harmless from any loss, liability, claim, demand, damage, or
expense (including any legal fees) asserted by any third party relating
in any way to your use of this website or breach of these Terms of Use.
We reserve the right to assume the exclusive defense and control of any
matter subject to indemnification by you, which shall not excuse your
indemnity obligations. In other words, go find someone else to sue.
Third
Parties
and
Links
No matter how
much we say we love these sites, consider our opinion only. As
far as you are concerned, links or pointers to other websites and
references to products and services offered by third parties are
provided to you for convenience only and do not constitute an
endorsement or approval by us of (i) the organizations that operate
such websites; (ii) the content, privacy policies or other terms of use
on such websites; or (iii) such third party products and services. As
we have no control or responsibility over websites or content
maintained by other organizations, or for products and services offered
by third parties, we do not assume any liability for your use of any of
the foregoing, which use you acknowledge and agree shall be at your own
risk.
Proprietary
Rights
Our policy is to
comply with all intellectual property laws and to act quickly upon
receiving any notice of claimed infringement. If you believe that your
work has been reproduced on this website in a manner that constitutes
copyright infringement, please let us know immediately by sending email
to admin@jestersdead.com.
General
If any provision
of these Terms of Use is held invalid or unenforceable in any respect
by any court having competent jurisdiction, such provision shall be
enforced to the maximum extent permitted by law, and the remaining
provisions of these Terms of Use shall continue in full force and
effect. No waiver of any provision of these Terms of Use shall be
deemed a further or continuing waiver of such provision or any other
provision of these Terms of Use.
These Terms of
Use shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of
the United States of America. Lord knows, we have enough of them.
The parties consent to the exclusive jurisdiction at a place to be
determined by Jestersdead.com at the last minute.
