Here are some of my favorite Chuck Norris facts. For additional fun, try this; Do a Google search on “Where is Chuck Norris?” and hit the “I’m feeling lucky” button.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille, and hear Sign Language.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Those aren’t credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris had a staring contest with Medusa, and won.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not “attempt” murder.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn’t dodge a Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

The dinosaurs are extinct because of the Chucknorrisasaurus.